I remember the first time I started to feel old was when my little brother Stevie was born. I was five.
It eventually hits you that wherever you go you'll always seem old to at least somebody. Could be the guy who comes to repair your phone and calls you 'sir' or the waitress at Denny's who asks if you want to order off the senior menu. The other day some bonehead actually offered me her seat on the bus!
The first real sign of age is when you realize that everyone on the Mets' roster is younger than you. Or when you pass a playground and it looks to you like the set of a sci-fi movie.
But as they say, considering the alternative, I'm fine getting a little bruised and weather beaten by the years.
What really gets me are all the middle-aged ladies with the mad scientist plastic surgery. Some of these gals look like they're ready to rob a liquor store with a stocking stretched over their face. And what about those aging rock stars who feel the pressing need to look like a teenager?
I mean, who do they think they're kidding?
Me, I'll be happy to gracefully grow into my role as the vacant eyed shopping mall Christmas fixture sitting on a long hard bench waiting for the wife to finish with her shopping.
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