My good wife bought me a smart phone for Christmas. She said it would help me 'get up to speed' with the 21st century. I reminded her that here in upstate New York among the 40 inch waist-and-above crowd, the average speed was between 15 and 18 miles per hour and that I was doing just fine, thank you very much.
Why the heck do they call these damn things smart if they make the folks who use them look like drooling imbeciles? Forget the fact that they're the single biggest cause of traffic fatalities, inching drunk driving out of first place for the first time since Henry Ford rolled out the ModelT. And what are we supposed to make out of grown men answering ring tones that are the electronic equivalent of celestial wind chimes?
And not to put too fine a point on the matter but hell's bells, is everyone now supposed to be some sort of amateur Edward Steichen?
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